Preparing for the Worst (Interview)

Give us five reasons why we should appoint you

In building a team, what’s your favourite ‘glue’

Tell us about how you motivate others

How would you get rid of any non- runners

 

What’s the most challenging task you’ve ever done

When not at work, how do you have fun

Have you got a usp

If you were a tree, what type would you be

 

Where did you find out about this position

Do you consider yourself to have ambition

If appointed, what’s the first thing you’d do

When under pressure, how do you come through

 

What added value could you bring to the post

What is it about us that you like the most

Are you able to follow the company line

Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time

 

Have you seen our M.S., it’s out on the net

Would you like a tissue, please don’t get upset

What is the name of our CEO

In preparing for today, how far did you go

 

Which of our ‘products’ do you think is best

Do you think you did well on the psychological test

What salary would you want if we took you on

Did you take account of the perks in that decision

 

Finally, would rate yourself as A++

And , is there anything, not covered, you want to ask us

A Painful Conversation

2002_0903_026_23ac-69What?

Oh, it’s you, you’re back.

When did you go, it doesn’t seem long?

How long are you staying this time?

OK, I guess it’s not much of a welcome but…….

I know no-one else is complaining, but I’m not them.

They don’t have to put up with your moods.

Wouldn’t you rather be somewhere else?

Why do you always have to show up in the middle of the night?

I need to sleep, but you keep interrupting.

Yes, I’ve already taken a tablet.

Never mind, you just don’t understand; it’s all about you.

If you’re staying, I’m going to turn over and try to ignore you.

What?

Depression

img_3144Tormented, rain-soaked branches, heaving,

beckoning leaden, clashing, threatening clouds,

madly, helplessly, at stormy whim,

weeping downcast, staccato, prickling drops,

drumming loudly, poking the sobbing windows,

mocking within the cold, mean kindling,

sputtering meagre, impotent, blue flecked flames,

drunkenly wavering, death-throw flickering

licking the shadows, but ever lying, failing, dying,

dolefully promising to light a new grey day.